you have such an awesome skill.
too bad your wasting it on this kind of comix.
please dont get me wrong, i love your art, you have a talent for it and a very impressive color, shading, physical form and outstanding backgrounds (in most of your work). but this story is just, lame .
i would love to give you some ideas for short story comix or just a story line (if you like, and also in the NG writers forum too) and i know you would do just fine portraying the story through your art.
also, here is something that you should look up (utena) its an animation series with similar setting to your art, but the story is impressive, i hope it can help you with improving your art ideas, setting and story.